Bite Me Again

It’s the morning of New Year’s Day, and I am feeling really spectacular about this coming year. I’m also feeling very itchy.

As part of my NYE tradition, I’ve gone to a Burning Bowl service, and when I arrive home, I decide to make it a night of self care. I wash the dishes, I take out all the garbage, wipe my counters down, sweep the floors and take a nice, long bath. I feel good. I stepped outside on my balcony, and I was greeted by a delicious full moon bathing me in its luminous love light. That’s probably when it happened.

Apparently, a mosquito followed me back inside my house.

Hey, I was smelling good and feeling good. What’s not attractive about that?

I woke up this morning feeling an itch on my leg. I din’t think much of it until I started to do some research in bed. Then, it landed on my phone.

I swatted at it, but it escaped.

“Bite me again,” I said out loud. “So I can get you for real this time.”

I need you to catch that.

We avoid the things that pain us and bother us. We set our life up so that things are as comfortable as possible. That’s in anticipation of the hard things we can’t control. We assume life is hard, so why make it harder by pursuing pain?

What if life was actually easy?

One of my favorite entrepreneurs, Tim Ferriss, challenges himself to make tasks as easy as possible in all instances. What if we apply that philosophy to life? 

When life on a whole is easy, then you have the energy to deal with the really important challenges. Like your deepest pain.

I’m going somewhere here. This past year, I’ve concentrated on my self-care, making sure to create an environment of nurturing and joy around me. It’s made me better in business, a more present family member, and my creativity has blossomed. But I still feel a sense of loss and fear around some really important places in my life. 

I didn’t notice the fear because of all the external stress I had allowed to be in my life.  Now, even mosquitoes wouldn’t be tolerated because they would distract me from my inner work.

But my little critter was teaching me more than that today. 

Dealing with the inner stuff is hard because you can’t see it. You just see its effects on your life. So your perceptive nature has to be finely attuned to your inner life in order to make healing possible. That takes practice and patience. And that means, yes, you’re going to become sensitive and feel uncomfortable. 

Bite me again.

Let the pain surface again, so that you can really discover where it’s coming from. When it comes up again, look at it before you try to get rid of it. What’s the trigger? Why is that a trigger for pain? When else have you felt it?

If you found a trail of ants in your kitchen, killing the ants without finding their nest just means they will attack your food again. When you find out its true source, you can address it.  

Let your pain arise again, in a safe space, so you can find some lasting healing.


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